Wasting Time

I think I have come to a conclusion.  Or two.  Umm, or three.

Wasting my own time is bad.
I have little control over other people wasting my time.
I must try to set some boundaries, internal and external, so that I protect my time.

This may or may not be my last post about wasting time.

I need to go back to using this as a place where I take a negative tought that I've been brooding on and turn it into a positive thought.  And do my other blogging on the other blog I have. 

Maybe Crazy Thoughts

I think that the thing that frustrates me about other people wasting my time is that it really boils down to feeling like they don't value me as a person.

My time is worth as much as anyone else's.  I am worth something.  My opinions, though they may not change the world, matter.  Because they are mine.  I don't just not exist.  I don't not matter.

I was lately teaching a Bible Study to Middle School aged girls and one of the central themes was where do we draw our value.  That we have to understand that our value comes from God and that we are all worth the life of His Son/part of himself to God.  That we have to realize that and not let other people treat us like junk.  That we have to realize that and not treat other people like junk.

I think there is a real danger for certain personality types to allow themselves to be walked on and think it's okay because Christians are called to be meek and kind and helpful and all good and nice things.  This is true.  BUT, we need to realize that because God loves us, and because we are His children, it really isn't okay to let people around us treat us like we don't matter.  It absolutely isn't okay to tell ourselves that we don't matter.

Time Wasted pet peeve post 4

OK, I love the alliteration.

When people interrupt time I have planned for doing something I want to do.

The last post, about students wasting a teacher's time?  I can't really figure out a way that getting annoyed at a student wasting your time is wrong.  I think the initial anger is legitimate.  The way it's dealt with is where the sin comes in.  I, me personally, should view it as a time to patiently and constructively mentor and train the student into how to value another person's time.  In a perfect world.

Back to when people interrupt my time that I have planned for doing something I want to do.

Ok, I have to narrow this down.  This is time that I have set aside to specifically do something I desire to do.  Not something I need to do like balance the checkbook, laundry, or grade schoolwork.  Something like watch a movie I want to watch, or eat a dessert I want to eat, or go to sleep early to make up for lost sleep, or go shopping for something for me.  (I don't know what that would be)

So, as a mother, wife, and daughter, I regularly have people asking for my time.  And that's okay, but what happens when I am in the middle of doing something I actually want to do and someone interrupts me.  Sometimes I have a good attitude and sometimes not.  It depends on how I am feeling that day, how many previous interruptions I've had, how annoying that particular person has been that day.  These things happen.  I am human.  Probably the thing to do is to think about how Jesus would react in this situation.   

If the interruptor is a child or my child, then I need to train them in a loving way to discern when it is inappropriate to interrupt a person.  If it's an adult then it's a little harder.  Boundary setting has never been my strong suit.  I feel like an adult should be able to use their common sense to know if it's okay to interrupt me.  So, if I'm curled up in my reading chair reading a book for fun, it's not acceptable to me for you to interrupt me because you want to tell me something that isn't immediately urgent.  But, I am not assertive enough to tell you that I am reading and I will talk to you about that later.  Now, if you really need my help, then please say to me that you really need my help with this certain thing and can I please come help you.  I get that, but drive by, just thought you should know why the "x" thing is now in a new place...I don't need to know that right now.  Or similar trivial things. 

So, how do I make it clear that my introvert self is decompressing right now and it's not okay to talk to me?  I don't know.  I've actually taken to going to my bedroom and shutting the door. 

How about when someone stops by during dinner?  How do you manage that.  When the person really seems to have no clue that they are interrupting anything.  When it's not just dinner but a special occasion.  I don't know how to handle that. 

I'm really actually very terrible at all this.  That's why I'm posting these.  How do I deal with interruptions in a grace filled way?  I really don't know.  I know people who do grace well.  I have relatives who do grace well.  I just don't.  I guess this is something I need to praying for myself.  Grace to give freely.

Time Wasted pet peeve post 3

Teaching time.  This really irks me.  For the last 9 weeks I have been teaching a Bible Study for Middle School Girls.  I love those girls.  One thing that irked me though was when they wouldn't come in for class at the right time.  Some of them would just disappear and then I would have to ask my teaching partner to run around the building looking for them. 

Here's the deal.  When someone is taking time out of their schedule to prepare for and teach you a class and you waste 15 of her 45 precious minutes each week, she is going to be upset.  And rightly so.  This is disrespectful.  Wasting another person's time on purpose is very disrespectful.  Even wasting their time accidentally because you didn't plan well is disrespectful.  In a classroom situation you have to think of all the people whose time you are wasting because it isn't just the teacher's.  Every single student who is sitting in their space, prepared, and waiting for the class to start, is having their time wasted and their person disrespected.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I waste other peoples time, I am sure.  I'm not writing this to say I'm perfect and you should be more like me.  NO, the idea here is to start learning how to respect other people. Not because I'll tell your parents if you don't or because you'll get sent to the school office but because we are called to respect other human beings.  We are called to love others as Jesus loves us.  WHICH IS HARD!  I know!  Believe me!

But, think about this the next time you are late.  The next time you don't get to class and that holds up the teacher from starting their lesson. 

Now, in the interest of looking at this objectively and becoming a better person by doing so;  What should I, the teacher, do when my students are late to class and waste 15 of my precious 45 minutes of teaching time?  How do I refuse to sin in my anger?  Because I do get angry about it.  Not really passionately angry, more like annoyed angry.  Should I lecture the whole class about being on time?  Or is it really enough at this age to point out that it's disrespectful and not loving me or other class members in a "Jesus" way?  It's really probably enough to point out the error and go on with the class.  And just pray that it doesn't color the tone of my voice for the whole lesson.

Comments?  I would really love to know what you think.

Time Wasted pet peeve post 2

So the question is then, why does it bother me when other people waste my time?  I mean, I waste my time very effectively.  Therein lies part of the problem.  Sometimes, I have done such a thorough job of wasting my own time that when someone else wastes my time, I have no patience left for it.  I have so many things left undone weighing on me that I can't spare a moment for someone else's waste or use.

Try to think of an example.  I pay bills on Wednesday.  I procrastinated and now it's Friday and I haven't paid the bills.  My husband wants me to sit and watch a movie with the family.  I don't want to spare the time because I already wasted that time on Wednesday.  This is a fairly benign example.  I would sit and watch the movie with the family and then scoot in to pay bills for five minutes before heading to bed.

A more malignant example.  I did not manage my time well this week.  I haven't written the Bible Study for Wed. night youth group.  It's Monday.  I am planning on writing it while my homeschooled kids are doing work they can do on their own.  Except, I stayed up late watching TV last night so I woke up late.  Since I woke up late, the kids got up late.  Now it's 11am and we are just starting school when I get an urgent phone call from my elderly mother asking me to come take a look at my sick father.  I do, but grudgingly.  Because I don't have the time.  Because I wasted it already.  I should have written my Bible Study yesterday.  I should have gone to sleep at a reasonable time.  I should have been up at 8 and had school started at 9 and be done the core subjects already.  But I'm not, so my attitude is bad and I resent the use of my time to run and see to my father.  But it's not his fault.  I wasted my time, not him.  Not my mother.  Thankfully, my parents don't depend on me alone and my sister was more engaged when she went to check on them after work.  My dad went to the doctor and got preventative antibiotics, because he had pneumonia that sent him to the hospital a year ago, and he is fine. 

So the point is, I need to really think about who it is that has wasted my time.  If it's me?  Then I have no right to complain and I need to be better at managing my time.  I realize that life happens and things don't always go according to plan.  But, if I am "coaching my team" well then those off games won't ruin my whole season.  Thanks to my husband's friend, Don, for the metaphor.

Pet Peeves...again

This time, in the interest of getting it out and looking at it objectively.  Trying to come to terms with it and become a better person by putting it to rest.

# 1 in this series:
Having my time wasted by other people.

Please comment.